I’ve been traveling. I’ve been traveling a lot. Not in that fun “Oh my goodness, I just LOVE Grand Cayman in the spring” kind of way, but in that “I think I was in Boston last week, but it could have been Chicago, not sure, but I can let you know once I see my expense report.”
(Funny story: a good friend of mine asked me if I would be in New York the following week, as she would be there and it’d be fun to meet up. Even though she was asking me about plans that were less than five days away, I actually had to look at my calender because I had NO IDEA if I was traveling there. I mean, it’s possible. Likely, even. But I wouldn’t have even begun to guess without checking the calender. This is a …weird phase for me.)
Anyway, next week is suppose to be my week off the road, so of course someone asked me to support some meetings in D.C., and of course I said I would without even hesitating, and I’m starting to think that maybe my stupid schedule is not necessairly a function of a corporation that doesn’t value my time but rather my intense need to feel useful and wanted and being a unrepentent people pleaser.
(Relatedly, a lot of the work I’ve been doing lately has been in conjunction with organizational psychologists, so work dinners these days sound a lot like the above paragraph, where we make fun of each other’s personality traits and discuss how our various character make-ups impact each other and how we let ourselves respond to different people etc., etc. It’s all very naval gaze-y, but also self absorbed and interesting, so, you know, your basic consultants-at-dinner.)
I’m home now, back in Colorado, and man it feels good to tell you that I’m home and actually have my place of residence FEEL like home. I wish I was a better writer so I could express to you how comfortable I feel here now, and tell you about the little moments I have almost every day that catch my breath and I find myself thinking “God, this is just… perfect.”
This morning I got up to go to my 6am crossfit class, and the morning was so beautiful that when I got back at 7am I threw the dog in the car and we went down the road to the trail-head and got in an early morning hike in the morning mountain sun. The grass is getting green, the wildflowers are popping up, and we meandered down the trail as I thought “God, this is just…perfect.” That I got to squeeze in that moment and still get back in time to get to work — man, what a life.