I got ripped a new one at book club last week. I had missed the last book club meeting because Mike and I were in the first step of house hunting out west, and the reality of which – that we are actually and for real putting our house on the market, and looking at other houses, houses in different time zones, and missing book club to do it- warranted quite a talking to.
I get it. Leaving these girls is probably the hardest part about our impending move. And it’s even harder to explain to them that as much as we like our lives, and love them, we want a different lifestyle than the one that they have chosen. How do you say that to a friend? “I look at your life and think: no thanks”? It’s an asshole thing to say, basically, and not fair in the slightest, because while it might sound like that’s what we’re saying, it doesn’t encompass even half of what we are thinking.
The types of jobs we want aren’t here, and staying here would require us to HAVE those jobs, and well, it’s not worth it. Ever since Mike left Big Consulting and has been back at Big Marine Corps, he has been So Happy. You guys, the difference is measurable. It is so drastic, in fact, that it makes me not hesitate for even a second when we talk about leaving a house we love, our friends we hold dear, and a place I’ve lived for over a decade.
Somewhat relatedly, my good friend got very sick this weekend. She could not drive herself to the hospital, prompting her husband to call me at midnight, asking if I could get her to the ER while he waited for someone to come watch their kids. I got her to the ER and set up as quickly as possible, and settled in for the patient advocacy business of bugging doctors and nurses and anyone who would listen and get my friend whatever she needed.
In a very weird way, it was nice night. I mean: it was not nice to see my friend in writhing pain, miserable and stressed out when we both would have preferred to be sleeping, but once the pain meds got flowing and she was appropriately stoned, and there was nothing to do but wait for the medical powers that be to draw some conclusions, it was, well, enjoyable to sit and chat. I mean, I wouldn’t wish those circumstances on her again for ANYTHING, but I certainly didn’t mind being there, gossiping and spending time together, happy that she called me, happy that I could help in some small way, happy that we are such good friends.
In the course of us chatting, she mentioned “I get it, I get why you want to move. You need to be near family; this situation is SO HARD not having family nearby.” Which was odd, because I was thinking to myself: “How crazy I am, to move away from this type of family.”
Pros and cons, pluses and minuses. The hardest decisions are always the ones with good things on either side.