So, one of the joys in our life is that my in-laws are willing and able to puppy sit whenever we go out of town, saving us hundreds of dollars and making travel financially possible. This is a perk I cannot imagine living without.
The catch – because there always is one- is that they live in New Jersey, and we do not. This, combined with my stepdaughter’s mother ALSO living in New Jersey, means I spend a ridiculous amount of time driving the New Jersey turnpike and flying in and out of Newark (for perspective: I live ten minutes from my local DC airport. Ten minutes. It is amazingly convenient; I wish I got to actually use it.) I am blessed with many wonderful things in my life, not the least of which are my in-laws, my stepdaughter, and my stepdaughter’s family, but it strikes me as appropriately life-ironic that these gifts come with strings – and those strings pull me directly back to the Garden State.
ANYWAY, that is all to say that I was driving up to New Jersey last night so we could drop off the pup and make our early AM flight out of Newark , and while the Boss was catching some sleep in the passenger seat, I started about 50 blog posts that I now can’t remember, which means that today you will get a post about my continued bitching regarding Newark, New Jersey, and probably travel in general. Let’s get started!
Let me be about the billionth person to complain about the current state of Airline suckitude. Here’s how I understand the buying and selling of services: if I give you money for a service – or say, you know: a seat on an airplane – I except to actually receive said service in exchange for the cash. I mean, commerce literally does not get any more basic than that. Unless, of course, you fly United, where, upon arriving at the airport, I have been told “Yes I know you bought a ticket for this flight, but we’re out of space; if you’d like, you can purchase an upgrade to guarantee a seat.” And, I mean: No. Didn’t we all see that one Seinfeld?
My initial purchasing of the ticket guarantees me a seat, asshole. That’s the whole point of the reservation. You take my money, you save me a seat. You don’t take my money and then offer the opportunity to give you MORE money before I get a seat. THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS.
(I mean, apparently it is. I don’t know. It’s the airline’s world; I just live here).
I’ve mentioned it before (I think), but I think my background as a client satisfaction professional (which sounds like a euphemism but I promise is not) makes this whole situation that much harder to take. So many service industries have absolutely nailed how to make “positive profits” (where the customer gives you their money because they honestly feel they are getting something in return, and more often than not will recommend you to their friends) versus making “negative profits” (where the customer gives you their money because they have no choice and end up kind of hating you for it HELLO UNITED CAN YOU HEAR ME?).
I suppose this is the part of the blog post where I tell you that I’m working on like, 3 hours of sleep, I’ve been at Newark since 5am, I forgot my phone so am now faced with the lovely prospect of working remotely this week with no access to remote email or calls, I’m wearing the same socks I was yesterday, I wish I could shower but I can’t, and we just got bumped off the 6:30am flight and as such will be here until the 10:30 flight, at which point we will be shuttled to Chicago just in time for a blizzard to hit the Midwest and likely strand us there.
I mean, all I’m saying is–actually, I was about to apologize for being overly negative, but when I look back, I’m actually SO NOT WRONG about anything that I’m not going to. Lack of coffee not withstanding, the airlines suck.
(The Boss would like to interrupt here and point out that this entire post can legally be used as justification the purchase of our own plane. When you’re married to a pilot, every solution looks like an SR-22)
(Wow, look at that. New Jersey and Newark didn’t even factor into this bitch fest. I knew you’d get me, NJ. Stockholm syndrome, here we come!)